It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
