Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize