My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize