is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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