i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
