Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize