in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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