Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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