Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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