the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
