i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize