She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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