Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
