Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
