In the future we'll all be gay
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
