God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
