I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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