I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Sponge bath it is.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
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