EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
