she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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