I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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