I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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