Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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