I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
