I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
