Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
