Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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