no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
