drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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