He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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