My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize