They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
