I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
