yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
