I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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