who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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