i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
