Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
