plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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