yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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