i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
dude i'm inner monologue high
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize