god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I puked a lego.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
