I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
