You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
