the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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