great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
