I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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