I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
