U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
