Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
