i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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