I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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