I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
