hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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