I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
